


Gintama: The Microfic Meme

by Mina Lightstar (ukefied)



Series: The Microfic Meme [1]
Category: Gintama
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Multi, microfic meme, ten fics for the price of one, weird crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-09
Updated: 2011-11-09
Packaged: 2017-10-25 20:59:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/274741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ukefied/pseuds/Mina%20Lightstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My kingdom for someone to take the Gremlins thing and run with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gintama: The Microfic Meme

**1\. Angst**

Sougo does not really believe in such things, but one time he visits a shrine and writes a wish on a stupid little piece of wood. He hangs it up, stares at it for a while, and then scoffs at how ridiculous he’s being. He leaves it there, though, and casts a fleeting glance skyward before walking away.

 _Maybe,_ he thinks, hopes, more than once after that day.

Then Mitsuba dies.

Sougo rips the ema down and throws it in the mud. He stomps on it, again and again — until it’s cracked to splinters, until the rain freezes him numb, until he can’t _feel._

 

**2\. AU**

“This is so stupid,” Gintoki mutters, watching Hijikata stalk off. “I’m going to lose the next duel on purpose.”

Ayame remains where she’s fallen, cupping her bruised cheek. Gintoki doesn’t like the way she’s quivering, ready to reel from another strike — _wanting_ to reel from another strike.

 _Masochist._ “I mean it,” he adds. “This nonsense is cutting into my study time; I’ll fail for sure at this rate.”

She answers this time, in that breathy, submissive voice. “As you wish, Gin-san.”

He already knows he isn’t going to lose.

 

**3\. Crack!fic**

“It’s your baby,” Okita grinds out through clenched teeth.

“Not now, Sougo,” Toshi says, tersely. Fuck, he wishes he could smoke in here.

“I’ll make you wish you’d never touched me,” he goes on, nastily. “I’ll bleed you dry. Would it have killed you to give me one foot-rub?”

“Enough arguing!” Kondo pleads, raising his hands in a plea for surrender and civility. “This is a joyous occasion!”

Dr. Takinawa puts his hands on Sougo’s knees. “All right, now, one more push should do it.”

 

**4\. Crossover**

“Damn it, Kagura!” Gintoki shouts, ducking further into the alley to escape the rampage. “ _What_ were the rules?”

Kagura makes a helpless gesture with her hands, nearly whacking Shinpachi with her parasol in the process. “I’m sure they’ll get tired soon,” she offers, pointedly ignoring the question.

Shinpachi answers for her. “Don’t get them wet, don’t expose them to direct sunlight, and _don’t_ —”

“ _Don’t!_ ” Gintoki snaps for emphasis.

“—Feed them after midnight!”

“My _clock was wrong,_ ” she snarls at them.

 

**5\. First Time**

It might as well have been a fight. Sougo rolls onto his back but the tatami stings the fresh scratches. He turns onto his side instead, panting. He’s going to be sore tomorrow. What time is it? He should probably get dressed. Where are his clothes? Everywhere.

He sits up, scrubbing at his face with the heel of his palm, and surveys the damage. The biggest casualty is the TV; it had the nerve to get in the way when Kagura flipped the table.

She’s still lying down, hands behind her head. She shrugs, not looking him in the eye. “You’re pretty strong, I guess.”

 

**6\. Fluff**

“Isn’t this the greatest family picnic we’ve ever had?” Otae gushes, piling more of her charcoaled eggs onto Gintoki’s plate.

“It’s absolutely the greatest family picnic we’ve ever had!” Sacchan exults, wrapping herself tighter around Gintoki’s arm.

“It’s _too_ greatest,” Gintoki mutters, looking up like he expects the sky to fall.

 

**7\. Humor**

Shinpachi leans over, scrutinizing the drooling, snoring drunk who has taken up residence on their couch.

Kagura leans over the back of the couch to join in. “Is he dead?”

“‘Tch. He’ll wish he was.” He prods Gintoki’s cheek with his index finger. “Can you believe how much he spent at the bar tonight?”

“Let’s shave his armpits!” Kagura suggests, clapping her hands.

Shinpachi raises an eyebrow. “Shave his _armpits_? Really, Kagura? Gin-san is unconscious, probably going to wake up with the worst hangover he’s ever had, and you want to _shave his armpits?_ ”

She scratches her nose. “… Eyebrows?”

 

**8\. Hurt/Comfort**

Shinpachi had never really been lucky in love., and Karin was not the exception. She uses him, thinking it will get her closer to Otsuu, and then tramples all over his heart and throws him under a bus for good measure. (Not a moving bus, but still; it was parked over a puddle.)

He drags himself back to Gintoki’s, clothes caked with mud and face blotched with dirt. Somehow, he pulls his weight up the stairs. Somehow, he makes it to the couch — sits down and wonders just what the hell just happened, what is he doing wrong, and why does it all hurt so much?

Kagura plops down next to him. Wordlessly, she offers him a strip of sukonbu, not tearing her gaze away from the TV. For a few minutes, they watch whatever drama is playing, and Shinpachi chews the sukonbu and loves the little alien whackjob whose shoulder is pressed against his arm.

Gintoki comes home then, carrying a plastic bag of snacks and the latest issue of Jump. He stares at them, probably deducing what has happened. With a put-upon sigh, Gintoki drops the bag on the low table and comes to sit on Shinpachi’s other side. He doesn’t offer anything; he scratches the back of his head and looks uncomfortable, but he’s there.

 

**9\. Smut**

They haven’t fucked since the war. Even after all this time, Gintoki is a demon in bed — tears at him like there’s no time left, moves against him on borrowed time of which they’re trying to make the most. The couch creaks when Gintoki comes, protesting the way he throws all his weight into it.

When it’s over, he flops onto Katsura, not caring that he’s lying in the evidence of Katsura’s climax. Katsura doesn’t care, either. He rubs a hand down Gintoki’s sweaty back and says, “What the hell was that?”

“You said you were shaving your head,” Gintoki deadpans. “I had to do _something._ ”

 

**10\. UST**

She thinks about it for five whole minutes. Finally, Kagura settles on udon.

“You should have gotten soba,” Okita says, appearing at her elbow.

Kagura gives him a sidelong glare, wondering why the hell she can’t walk down the street without running into this jerk. “Udon is better,” she retorts, and it just goes downhill from there.

After they’ve argued about everything in the convenience store, one patron decides to diffuse the tension by commenting that they make a cute couple.

“Ugh!” Kagura retches, sticking a finger in her mouth for emphasis. “I’d rather marry a hairy ape with foot odor.”

“You might have to!” Okita shoots back nastily, but she sees him grip his sword to steady what may have been a shaking—

_Couldn’t be._

 

~End.

**Author's Note:**

> Fanbingo square: WILD (mpreg)


End file.
